How I Started Solo Traveling and Overcame Common Fears

By: Christine Mak

When I was younger, I would go on road trips or bus tours with my mom. From what I can remember, we only used the car when we were seeing family or were with a lot of people and joined a bus tour if it were just her and I. We mostly traveled along the east coast of the US and went for short little weekend trips or day trips.

As a teenager, I didn’t have my own car after I got my license and would either borrow a family member’s or join friends in theirs to get to places when I lived in the suburbs. I would only be in the suburbs for a short period of time before I would move back into the city, so there really was no need for me to have a car at all, since public transportation was more suitable for my lifestyle then.

As I got a little older, my interests grew as well as my desire to explore or travel somewhere. I would try to make plans with friends, but those plans never came to fruition. Either our interests were different or we couldn’t agree on the details.

As time passed by, my impatience grew after what felt like years of ignoring things I wanted to do. So, I eventually stopped asking people and decided to find a way to make things happen for myself when I felt comfortable enough to go off on my own. I couldn’t bear pushing aside my own happiness any longer, even if I wish that I had someone that would join me. If there was something I wanted to do now, I just did it and didn’t wait for anyone anymore.

I think another breaking point to this involved things I wanted to do for my birthdays. My friends then weren’t interested in what I wanted to do and thought that we should drink and party to celebrate instead. This opened up my eyes to the kind of friends I had and how different we were becoming.

Some of the things I wanted to do required going the distance, beyond what mass transit could take me. I decided to find other alternatives of transportation so I could make my trip happen. When you want something badly enough, you’ll always find a way.

I believe my first trip was ziplining in the winter at Hunter Mountain. Really random, I know. I have an affinity for adventures that are uncommon. I just thought it would be so cool to experience winter a little differently, zipping across snow covered tree tops in the mountains of NY. Also, their zipline course is known to have one of the longest ziplines, along with fun variations that are different than the typical straight zip from point a to point b.

I ended up finding a bus that would take me to the resort from the city for the day. I believe it was from a ski shop and I was able to just pay for transportation without having to pay for the ski pass that is sometimes bundled up with the cost. Getting on the bus reminded me of the times I used to go on a trip with my mom when I was younger, which I think was the last time I ever really took a bus to travel. There was a bit of comfort thinking about that, when I traveled alone for the first time.

I took a few more bus trips after that, then eventually got on planes and eventually headed to international destinations. Trains were a hit or miss, depending on what I was doing, how long I would be there, and how complicated it would be to get to my destination from the station. It was a gradual buildup altogether though that started local, then national, and international. The driving factor for each trip usually involved some sort of adventure and leisure rooted in wellness that gave it it’s purpose.

Some of the most common fears of traveling solo include safety, lack of company, cost, and time. When it came to safety, I would trust my instincts and stay aware of my surroundings while I was in any overly crowded or empty places. I would make sure to separate my valuables and have copies of any important information. If I was traveling international, I would always end up choosing fairly well known destinations that understood English, and learned a little bit of the native language out of respect.

This may be an unpopular opinion, especially those who love to rack up points, but I made sure to use local currency most of the time to avoid being easily identified as a foreigner with my card and avoid any random transactions. That’s just something personal to me that made me feel safer while traveling solo. Overall, I stayed smart, tried to blend in with the locals, and trusted that God was watching over me in all other instances. Being fearful doesn’t do you any good and makes for a less enjoyable trip. Do everything that you can to protect yourself, have fun, and leave the rest of it in God’s hands.

People are usually concerned about experiencing loneliness if they travel solo. Would it be nice to have someone, whose company I enjoy, come with me? Absolutely, but I’m also not going to hold off on my dreams waiting around for someone else anymore. Sharing memories with someone else is great, but there’s a whole other richness in being in your own company. Once you develop enough confidence being in your own skin or bubble, it won’t matter who is with you as much. Instead, you’ll appreciate where you are, what you’re doing, and this investment you made towards yourself.

For the most part, I traveled completely solo for my solo trips. At one point though, I ended up joining a tour group from London for a Euro Trip during Christmas and New Years. I don’t consider myself as someone who generally likes tour groups, but the itinerary was worth stepping out of my comfort zone for. Also, I really wanted to go back to Europe after studying abroad and was warming myself up for more international solo trips in the future. Tour groups are a great way to dip your toes into the world of travel if you don’t have someone to go with and want the safety of being around other people that you’ll sort of know. I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to build up the confidence to solo travel.

There were a few times I also ended up meeting people, that would be going to the same event or while I was at an event, and ended up joining their group. There’s also the countless times I’ve met locals or expats in other countries, and hung out with them for a little bit while I was there. You can meet a lot of people while you’re traveling, and you’re never really alone unless you want to be. Just be smart about who you let into your bubble and make sure that they have enough integrity to respect you.

Sometimes people worry about the cost of things to solo travel, since they won’t be splitting anything with anyone and would have to pay everything in full. The question you should ask yourself is if the experience is worth more to you than the money. If you’re choosing to travel and you’re looking at a particular experience but you’re going back and forth on committing to it, you usually have enough money to cover the costs. The biggest roadblock here is that you’re just not used to spending that kind of money on yourself. At the end of every trip, you rarely ever look back and miss the money you spent. Rather, you look back and rejoice on the experiences you had. I’ll be writing another post on how I went from budget to luxury travel and it has nothing to do with income.

The last common fear that I would like to address is time. Some people say they don’t have enough time to travel. Whether it’s your lifestyle, work, or your own limitations about how long you should be staying somewhere for where you want to go, it is possible to make trips happen if you want to. This can tie in with fears around costs too, but if your wellbeing is tied to your intention behind your trip, time shouldn’t be an excuse for why you can’t travel. You always have time to take care of yourself, you just have to commit to choosing when. And you’ll be able to show up as a much better person in life and work when you do so.
I’ve worked 40+ hours at a corporate job while freelancing on the side and found the time to travel by being strategic about my schedule, even if some trips were planned in less than a week. Some of those included international weekend trips combined with holidays or vacation days. I’ve also taken similar trips when I was only freelancing and had a very unpredictable full schedule. This may sound impossible to some at first, but my wellbeing mattered more to me than anything during those moments I needed to get away to take care of myself and I never felt guilty I did when I returned.

I always say that no matter how long you stay somewhere, you’re going to wish you stayed longer. So why not just make the best of it? Also, another limiting belief that people tend to have is that this may be their first and last chance to ever travel to a particular destination. But I always say that if you look at life that way, then you may only ever visit that place one time in your life. I always travel with the mindset that I will get to go somewhere more than once in my life. And if it ends up being only once, at least I accomplished even making it there that one time and had a memorable time!

Travel is rooted in wellness for everyone in some way or form. We may not all say that is our primary reason, but by taking a deeper look we may see that is an underlying reason for most people. There’s so many benefits to solo traveling at least a few times in your life. You not only discover the world, but yourself deeply as well. It can change, heal, and transform you into a better version of you that you didn't even know you needed. And that transformative experience can be just an hour away.

Christine is a certified wellness lifestyle travel coach and mindfulness teacher. Her brand, Soul Paradiso is a body, mind, soul experience that helps you find Heaven on Earth through a well-rounded lifestyle, wellness, and adventure. On her website, she offers coaching, mindfulness services, handmade jewelry for women & men, home decor, and a travel blog.

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Original post on my blog: https://soulparadiso.com/blog/f/how-i-started-solo-traveling

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