Rediscovering Hope: How Solo Travel Inspired Me to Imagine Life after Endometriosis
By: Norah Connolly
When I was in my early 20s living in Jackson, WY chasing the ski bum dream, I was diagnosed with endometriosis. Fortunately for me, I have never experienced extreme pelvic pain, which is the most common symptom of a disease that is still not completely understood. Unfortunately, though, my type of endo created grapefruit-sized tumors in my abdomen and so living far from the excellent medical care I received in Boston, MA was not an option for me.
In the spring 2017, after multiple abdominal surgeries and because of increasing symptoms at the time, my doctor and I decided to schedule a full hysterectomy for that summer. For the first time in a long time, I had hope that a new life was waiting for me on the other side of the operating table; one that could allow me to move to a more rural New England life near the best skiing the northeast had to offer. It was time to let my body and mind heal from the emotional turmoil of disease.
Before my hysterectomy, I decided to go on my first solo trip as both a present and challenge to myself. I was about to face eight long weeks of recovery and the process of getting to know the new body I was going to have post surgery. I wanted to go on a trip by myself before surgery to experience a journey totally and completely on my own terms so that I could go into the operation feeling like my inspiration cup had been filled. I also wanted to challenge myself in ways that I enjoy (e.g. problem solving travel dilemmas, meeting new people) so I could face the life-changing surgery head on with confidence and courage.
When deciding where to go, my dad told me that Slovenians had a reputation for being exceptionally friendly and a flight to Prague was the cheapest option and so my first ever solo trip was to the Czech Republic and Slovenia. I had two pretty simple goals: eat ice cream every day and delight in the unexpected. Between eating delicious frozen treats every day and taking in the sights and encounters along the way in both countries, the trip was unexpectedly joyful and incredibly fulfilling.
I spent the first half in Prague exploring the streets, hitting my ice cream goal daily, and enjoying all of the people I met, bookshops I found, and sights to see in that most beautiful and historic city. I stayed in a hostel in the central part of the city and found it to be a great place from which to check out the city no matter the time of day or evening. There were some nights coming home during which I felt the slight unease of solo female traveling; no one made me feel uncomfortable but there were moments during which I was acutely aware that I was truly alone in a big city far from home. It was in those instances of intense solo travel that I truly felt like I was challenging myself by being resourceful and confident when outside of my comfort zone.
Slovenia is an especially great country for solo female travelers. While Czech folks, especially those of the younger generation, are happy to engage in conversation, Slovenians live up to their gregarious reputation. They embrace the LOVE in their country’s name and are so very proud of and excited to share their beautiful nation with visitors. I started my time in Slovenia in the capital of Ljubljana, a city that welcomed me with a river cruise, delicious local wine, and multiple ice cream shops. I spent a few nights there, also in a hostel, and delighted in public movie showings in the city’s castle, outdoor libraries in multiple parks, and long walks through the city’s interesting streets and along its river.
Lake Bled, which is northwest of the city, is slightly touristy but also way too beautiful to miss. The proprietors of the local hostel were some of the most wonderful people I’ve met while traveling. They greeted me every evening when I came back from a day’s excursions with fragrant wine and warm company. I spent every evening in Lake Bled talking with people from all over the globe and learning about all the many types of adventures people go on to discover their place in the world. One of the most interesting things I noticed about solo traveling is that people are eager to talk to you when you’re by yourself. I engaged with locals and other travelers more often and authentically than I ever do when traveling with friends or family. It’s this aspect of traveling solo that calls me to do it again and again.
On one of the most delightful days, I took the bus to Lake Bohinj to do some hiking in the Julian Alps. I took a Vogel Ski Resort lift up to the top and set out following small signs that said “cheese” above little arrows pointing in a vague direction. (Side note: if you have endo or know someone who does, you’re probably familiar with the endo diet which eliminates gluten, cheese, and processed meat, among other particularly delicious things. On this trip, I ate all of it, with glee.) As I followed the signs, I truly felt totally on my own and fairly happy that I was starting the hike in the early morning as I had no idea where this quest would actually take me.
Turns out, it took me right to a cheese hut surrounded by grazing cows, fields, trees, and spectacular views. A friendly man who did not speak English was inside the hut and he graciously brought out some cheeses for me to taste. Through lots of hand gestures and smiles and nods, he cut a block of cheese for me in exchange for a bunch of coins that he took from my stash. While waving back at the cheese maker as I walked back from whence I came with delicious cheese stashed in my bag, I felt excited about this completely unexpected and delightful encounter and reveled in the joy that having a conversation without words with a stranger can bring.
I hiked down the mountain and found the bus stop to take me back to the eastern side of Lake Bohinj. However, I realized, after the bus sailed past me, that you have to actually flag it down to let it know you want it to pick you up. Instead of waiting for the next bus, I decided to walk the nearly three miles to the other side of the lake. It was one of those travel problem solving and going-with-the-flow moments that I will always remember because when I got into town on the other side of the lake, I bought, as a treat for myself, a baguette and some sausage and sat lakeside with my freshly cut cheese to eat the most delicious non-endo diet delicacy I had had in a very long time.
There were other moments during this trip that required me to find out just how much I was willing and able to trust my instincts and use context clues and the kindness of strangers to figure out where I was going and how I was going to get there. Because of those moments, I realized two things about solo traveling. Firstly, there were so many choices I made along the way (hiking to the cheese hut and the unexpected long walk the length of the lake among them) that I would probably not have done when traveling with friends or family who have different ideas about what they’re willing and wanting to experience when on vacation. Traveling on my own allowed me to enjoy the full experience of exploring a new place in all the ways that made me excited and energized to connect with other people or take time to just walk.
Secondly, it was incredibly liberating to have to figure out in which direction I was going depending on the situation that required me to make a choice. Additionally, amidst the choices I was able to make all on my own, I had a great deal of time, while hiking in the mountains, riding public transport around the countries, and walking in cities great and small, to think about what life after my hysterectomy could look like. I brainstormed the long term dreams that being liberated from constant doctor’s appointments would allow me to seriously consider. Would I be able to move out of the city and into a more rural setting? Would I want to continue to be a school librarian for the rest of my career or is there another way to impact the world in a positive way? How would travel continue to be a main focus of the rhythm of my life?
Coming home from this trip, I could feel the amount of courage and accomplishment I had acquired from the journey. I had a much clearer picture of a few short term and long term goals, the likes of which I had not allowed myself to ponder for a very long time. Traveling on my own had given me the opportunity and time to develop a greater sense of who I was and who I could be.
Turns out, three years after my surgery, which was largely quite successful, and during the pandemic, I made the very quick decision to move to rural Vermont in the Northeast Kingdom so I could continue to be a school librarian but also join the ski school staff to bring the joy of skiing to people, but mostly women, of all ages. The Northeast Kingdom is lightyears away from the city outside Boston that I had called home and loved in many ways. But as I learned during my first solo trip, when opportunities present themselves and your heart and gut know they’re right, you need to jump and take them as they come.
My partner and his son and I are soon going on a road trip from Vermont to Prince Edward Island, home of one of my most cherished literary heroines, Anne Shirley of Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery. My favorite quote from Anne from Anne of Ingleside sums up what I discovered on the first trip I took on my own: “It’s not what the world holds for you. It’s what you bring to it.” I found that while the world has many wonderful and inspiring things to offer, the true gift of travel is finding out what you bring to the people you meet along the way and what you learn about yourself along the way.
Later this summer, I’m going on another solo trip, this time to France and the Austrian Alps. I am not facing the same monumental change and challenge as I was the first time I traveled by myself but I have already connected with welcoming hosts that I will meet along the way and look forward to exchanging ideas, stories, and experiences with new friends. Cheers to taking chances, listening to your heart, and giving yourself grace and the opportunity to share who you are with the world and, dare I say, yourself.
Norah Connolly is a life-long budget traveler inspired by her desire to meet new people from different cultures and see destinations from a local’s point of view. She’s a travel planner and travel coach and is the co-founder of K&N Travel Planning, LLC. You can find out more about K&N Travel Planning @kntravelplanning on Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook and online at www.kntravelplanning.com. She’s excited to help other women looking to transform their lives through travel. Find her on Linkedin or email her at [email protected] to learn more!
