What Being a 40-year-old Backpacker in India Taught Me

By: Terri Reynolds

How it Started

It was 1998, I was 38, it was the end of my second marriage. I decided I would be the one to
move out of the marital home, it was easier that way. I asked my 18-year-old daughter
what she preferred to do, and she wanted to stay there. That was fine, I was only 10
minutes away.

The months that followed began a mind-numbing routine of eat, work, sleep, repeat. That
summer I went on my first ever girls’ holiday, it was just my friend and me. We went to
Zante, Greece. I loved it so much I went back twice more that summer. I got friendly with
the workers on the island and decided that when I returned home, I would ask for a career
break for a year, to go back to Greece the following season, as a worker.

My first girls' holiday in Zante, Greece.

Work said yes! I was so excited.

Then a work colleague who had heard of my plans, suggested a round the world ticket. I’d
never heard of this – tell me more.

Now – I’d only ever been abroad to Spain (with family in 1994) and Greece in 1998, and to
even think about going around the world was mind blowing.

We planned our trip, which countries to go to – back then, there were certain countries you
couldn’t fly from and to, so we had to choose carefully.

We would leave October 28th 1999, and we had 7 stops:

• India
• Malaysia
• Indonesia
• Australia
• New Zealand
• Fiji
• USA

I was ready to do something so scary, so out of my comfort zone, so crazy for a 39-year-old
mother to be doing something like this.

Plus, I was recovering from surgery, I was concerned that I may not be fit enough by
departure date? Would I be strong enough to carry my backpack? I was determined, and I
knew I had to be ready.

During the months leading up to the flight out of Heathrow, there were many times I
questioned my sanity – I would say to myself:

• You’re ok, are you?
• What the hell are you doing?
• Who do you think you are to have this adventure?
• You’re not 20 any more, backpacking is for kids not someone like you!
• How will you cope away from home, you’ve never gone anywhere longer than a
  week or 2?
• How will you survive in a strange country where the culture is so different to
  everything you know?

You see, my whole life I’d never done anything adventurous, I married at 19 had a baby at
20, divorced at 22, married again at 27, I lived safe.

In 1999 the internet was only just breaking, it was nothing like it is now, it had very minimal
use, you couldn’t Google or search like we take for granted today…….I didn’t even have an
email address when I left the UK!

I’d bought The Rough Guide travel books for each country to take with me for reference.
And they were heavy!

Mobile phones weren’t the sleek piece of equipment we have today, they were like bricks!
The only functionality was to ring or send a text! (However, I did buy a bright orange Alcatel
phone in Australia, which I still have! There is still a text on there that I’ve never been able
to read, it was sent while I was on the flight out of Oz).

The Alcatel phone I had in Australia. 

Before I left the UK, I had to exchange all my currency into travellers’ cheques, there was no
international online banking, I had to take copies of all my documentation, no digital copies
back then. Back home, I left a set with my parents, and a set with my work colleagues.

No digital cameras, 35mm film, had to be developed and then shipped home.

But it’s a case of what you’ve never had, you don’t miss and I’m actually grateful for the way
I had to travel back then, because that will never happen again. It’s all so much easier now.

On My Way

We left London and flew into Delhi, the door of the plane opened and all the smells and
sounds of India came rushing up to meet me. I was scared, and I hadn’t gotten off the plane
yet.

We had a taxi from the airport to Connaught Circus where we had booked to stay a few
nights.

Walking into the hotel, I felt sick, “beam me up Scottie”, I said to myself, and in my journal, I
wrote 52 – meaning 52 weeks till I got back home. It was day one and it didn’t bode well.

Of course, I was immediately very conscious of the culture differences, I’d read the Rough
Guide and understood how western women should dress and behave.

Instantly I was aware that all I could see was men, groups of men, all standing around
talking, there were no women out on the streets.

We were stared at, it felt very uncomfortable, and it took about 2 weeks to acclimatise to
our new surroundings.

I absolutely grew to love the country, I loved the colours, the vibrancy, the friendliness, just
everything about it, even when we had money stolen from us by the bank cashier (our fault,
we didn’t check our money while still in the bank), and were sold dodgy internal flights (got
the money back), again our fault for not being more vigilant.

These were all lessons learnt without us coming to physical harm, and we were thankful for
that.

We had to remain alert at all times, dress appropriately by staying covered up, and make
sure we didn’t end up in the wrong place, and that is definitely something to be aware of
when you are a visitor to someone else’s country, respect is key!

Off we went to Rajasthan to do the Golden Triangle, where so many instances of keeping
vigilant and safe showed up.

We hired a private car to Bikaner, it was so inexpensive, next we got an overnight bus to
Jaisalmer, which was an experience!

And then there was the experience of being on an overnight train with soldiers, Jaisalmer
being close to the Pakistan border, made everyone jumpy, the soldiers were menacing and
tried to get into our bunks with us, not much sleep was had that night!

We used our backpacks as pillows, we didn’t feel safe leaving them on the floor, where they
were out of our reach.

But we survived, it was all part of the great adventure we were on.

Onto Jodhpur, Udaipur and Jaipur, the home of the Pink Palace, the Hawa Mahal, where it is
always windy inside, owing to the many windows. This amazing aeriation that the palace has
is the reason why it was named the Hawa Mahal, which translates to the Palace of Winds! It
is absolutely gorgeous to look at.

India was as alien to me as anything could be, and yet, 3 weeks in and I felt so at home, I felt
I had been there before and that I belonged.

The next part of our India adventure took us to Agra, home of the Taj Mahal. I was so
excited to visit.

I stayed in a ‘hotel’ within walking distance of the Taj, and the first time I saw it was at
sunrise, it was a misty morning but as I walked through and into the grounds the mist
cleared and there she was – absolutely breath taking.

All of this was lovely, but….I knew I wasn’t happy with my travelling situation and that I
would have to do something to change it.

I started speaking to solo women travellers, asking them how they felt about being alone,
and each one said the same thing, that it was absolutely fine and that they were very much
enjoying it, just needed to keep safe.

It would be a new phase of my around the world adventure.

My top tips to stay safe in someone else’s country:

• Research, research, research
• Understand their culture
• Use their dress code
• Don’t be disrespectful
• Try to learn some of the language, even please and thank you

Travel tips to keep in your day pack:

• Keep water on you at all times
• Have a small snack like trail mix with you
• Wipes
• Sun hat and sunglasses

This adventure gave me the courage to go back into education as a 44-year-old, to study for
a degree in education so that I could change my career path. I came away with a 2:1 Hons, I
was so proud, I was the first person in my family to graduate.

Travelling also encouraged me to abseil down the side of a building for charity for the
hospital I worked at. Something I would never have done in my previous life.

To all the women out there who are 40+, and think this is impossible, it isn’t. It is life
changing, life enhancing, confidence building and I’m proof that if I can do it, you can do it
too.

Doing something on such a spectacular scale at that age taught me there are no limits – we
can do and be whatever we want.

What are you waiting for? You have permission to dream big and be you, in all your
fabulousness.

Enjoy.
Terri xx

My name is Terri Reynolds, I’m a mother, grandmother, backpacker, traveller and seeker of
adventure. I am a transformational life coach, helping women 40+ to make the rest of their
life the best of their life, one step at a time – I would love to connect! You can find me on Instagram.